Tomorrow, the UEFA Champions League starts up for real and will continue all the way to May 19th when finalists will battle it out in Munich (Munchen).
For last year's finals that featured an unbeatable Barcelona team vs Man U, I was watching the match from Tokyo. As the match was being played between 3:30am and 6am....it took some doing to find a place that was going to show the match. I ended up in a bar that I'd been to before aptly named Insomnia in Shibuya. I've gotten to know the bartender and waitstaff here over the few times I've been there and was drinking with them from about midnight until kickoff ....they didn't have a TV (very few bars in Tokyo actually do) but they did rig up the projector that they had showing Fellini movies for artistic effect to get the match on. I was happy.....beer flowing, friendly bar staff, huge screen, and no Man U fans (no Barca fans either) - of the 15 or so people in the bar I was the only watching. The match was 1-1 at half and unfortunately even a bar named Insomnia closes at 5am but there was still half of the match to go. I was directed to go to a bar that they told me didn't close (24/7) it wasn't far away but the waitstaff didn't trust I'd find it (difficult to find anything as there are no street names and addresses aren't logical) and actually was a bit concerned about the crowd that may be there and led me to the bar.
Crowd didn't seem that dodgy to me, half gaijin (foreigners - Americans, Brits and Spanish) and half Japanese. The bar was packed with everyone intent to watch the match. Well, mostly everyone, as it was about 5am, there were more than 1 or 2 people face down dead alseep at their tables with full beers next to them. I and the Insomnia waitstaff befriended the Barca fans who were a mix of people actually from Barcelona or those locals who went to school in Spain. I admit I can speak some Japanese, to the untrained ear it sounds as if I am halfway fluent but, to be honest, to a native speaker I am certainly not, I speak something I'd call Borat Japanese which ranges from overly formal to highly inappropriate speech. I am at my most fluent after 4 or 5 drinks, anything less I am too self-conscious, anything more I am highly prone to mistakes. My Japanese is so precarious that our sales team have asked me to not speak Japanese to our clients except for greetings and pleasantries. For instance, the word for "full" as in "I've eaten enough" is "ippai" but it close to the word that supposedly is slang for breasts "oppai" - I've told people after a big meal thinking I am saying "I am full and can't eat any more" I've said "oppai desu" which could be interpreted as "you have breasts"....not good in any language!
But back watching the Champions League match, at the table next to us there were a table of 4 gruff looking locals that were in track suits that appeared to be rooting for Man U. They were sitting at a table with several glasses of whiskey, several packs of cigarettes and several ash trays. As they were Man U fans and the fact I had been drinking for several hours. I engaged in what I thought to be friendly banter on the match. I remarked, in poor Japanese, that they, in wearing their track suits, looked like the were ready to "play" in the match. They looked at me like I had 3 heads, I realized only later that in Japanese you "do" a sport but don't "play" one...."play" apparently. has some double meanings. So my little ice-breaker didn't actually work - also the concept of trash-talking may have gotten lost in translation as well. I good naturedly wanted to needle the boys on being Man U fans and said something in the lines that by liking Man U they were like school girls that didn't know anything about sport but had heard the name on TV and that Man U should be called Girl U. Fortunately, the guys seemed highly amused by this - although the others I befriended looked at me horrified - after laughing it out with the guys and buying a round of whiskeys for them. I was pulled aside and was told the boys in track suits were likely yakuza (Japanese mob) and that I probably should give up on my newly born friendships and stop my Man U bashing. I'd have none of it - these guys were my new buddies. I did convince them by match end that Man U was crap and that actually Arsenal was the team they should support. My missionary work was done. Barca had won 3-1. Messi played God. At 6:30am I hopped on a train back to Yurakacho and the train was half-filled with those going home from a long night out.
The Locks has analyzed the group stages
Group A
Bayern Munich
Will not want to miss the home cooking (more like home brew ) in the finals
Villarreal
The "Yellow Submarine" features Rossi, an American turncoat who plays for the Italian national team
Manchester City
Any time Man U can be humbled I am happy...Man City usually the step child will likely win the Premiership this year.
Napoli
My Italian roots come from near Napoli but this is Napoli's first appearance in the Champions League.
Locks..........Man City and Bayern move on to knock out round.
Group B
Internazionale
Better known as Inter Milan, 3 time winner of the CL.
CSKA Moscow
Last years tops scorer for the team was a guy called Vagner Love.
Lille
Mascot is a Mastiff....have England player Joe Cole on loan for the season, my has his star fallen.
Trabzonspor
???? sounds like some made up planet name.
Locks: Inter, CSKA move to knock out
Group C
Manchester United
Girl U, gah!
Benfica
Won the European Cup, the competition that pre-dates the CL, 2 times.
Basel
Town is better known for lending its name to banking standards.
Oțelul Galați
For the dessert I will have the......
Locks: Man U and Benefica will move on
Group D
Real Madrid
Real Madrid is a 9 time winner of the European championship, 3 times under the CL format. Can Chrissy boy get them over the hump.
Lyon
Their nickname translates out to be "the Kids" think they would be better called the Lions...Lyon Lions sounds better to me.
Ajax
Pronounced "Ai-ax" has 3 European championships including 1 in the CL era.
Dinamo Zagreb
Croatian team is in group stage for first time in 12 years.
Locks: Real and Ajax
Group E
Chelsea
Owner Roman Abramovich nearly bought(bribed?) his way to a CL championship in his home town Moscow only to have John Terry blow a PK.
Valencia
Learned in my Spanish class in jr. high that Valencia was known for their naranjas (oranges) so not surprised the team nickname is the Orange. Always la Liga step-child to Real and Barca.
Bayer Leverkusen
Bayer as in the aspirin people. Fans need the product as the team always seems to be one of Germany's top squads but have been able to win very little hardware.
Genk
Sounds like what you have when one of your legs isn't properly functioning....like "I've been walking with a genk."
Locks: Chelski and Valencia will go to final 16.
Group F
Arsenal
Wenger is on the hot seat - Arsenal has made it to the knock out stages for every year since 2000 - will the new transfers help the Gunners continue the streak.
Marseille
Club motto is Droit au But...Straight to the Goal...true French squad as I see alot of accents, tilde, cedillas and umlauts on top of the players names.
Olympiacos
Used to go to a diner of the same name back in the '90s.
Borussia Dortmund
This German club was CL champion once in the '90s. Won the Bundesliga last year.
The Locks: Arsenal and Borussia Dortmund
Group G
APOEL
APOEL translated means Athletic Football Club of Greeks of Nicosia sounds like Borat to me. Cyprus based team made group stage 2 years ago ended up fourth but not smoked.
Porto
Portugal's most storied side won the champions league in 2004 in the unlikely final against Prince Albert's AC Monaco
Shakhtar Donetsk
Made it to CL quarters last year, won UEFA Cup a few years ago - so has some success facing international foes
Zenit St. Petersburg
Won UEFA Cup a few years ago too. Nickname of team is "Blue White Light Blue" - pretty lame in my book.
Locks: Porto and Shakhtar move on.
Group H
Barcelona
Best team has best player (Messi) in the world but now sadly has my favorite player, Cesc Fabregas who returned home after playing for the Gunners from age 16.
Milan
AC Milan is a 7 time European champion seems to be a squad cobbled together from castoffs such as Zlatan, Robinho, Van Brommel etc.
BATE Borisov
Only Belarussian team to make CL, BATE supposed stands for Borisov Works of Automobile and Tractor Electric Equipment....by my calculations it really should say BWATEE. And also by my calculations, BWATEE sounds alot better than BATE.
Viktoria Plzeň
Isn't she Rik Ocasiks (the Cars) wife.....think I am dating myself on that reference
Locks: AC Milan and Barca move on to knock out rounds
Final 8....Barca, Real Madrid, Man U, Man City, Bayern, Inter, Chelsea, Arsenal
Final 4....Barca, Man U, Bayern, Man City
Final: Barca to prevail over Man City.
